LATEST!!! Tweets | Updates | News | Anouncement | FOLLOW? ;)

Saturday, September 11, 2010

So the feelings I felt was true from the start... :')

Dear ♥,
I knew it from the start... :')
The "funny" feelings I felt the last time I met you.
The day before you left for your family vacation...
I knew there's something going to happen..
I don't know what it is...but, I just knew that "something" going to happen between us..something bad...
That day before you left, I somehow feel like that's going to be the last time I'm going to see you as mine...
You know what the weirdest part is??
I didn't even tell you about it like I always did whenever I feel something is wrong..yeah, I didn't tell you....
I don't know why...I thought it was only me being paranoid.... :')
But at that very moment, I got the feeling of fear...the feeling like I wanted to cry so bad...I nearly drop a tear.. :')
Remember how bad I don't want you to go?? Yeah, that's how bad I don't want to lose you from my sight...
I know something bad going to happen between us.....the feelings like you will be away from me not only by sight, but also by heart....the distance is not the actual problem..I think it was the instinct of losing you..It makes me crazy day by day without you....
Well, I think that's enough said...
Now, those things I'm afraid the most actually happens... :')
and it's all my fault...yeah, just put all the blame on me.....
My filthy mouth which is full of bad swore words came out of it...
My stupid mind for thinking too much....
My jealousy for always control your life and for being such a petty.....
All my fault, okay...I admit it all.....
But it's all because I care too much about you....
huh, I guess you don't want to hear that eh.....
Okay then...maybe that's the best for both of us.... :')

I think there's no way turning back now....
I love you too much I could hurt you.....
I've done bad things...I've sinned.....
Well, I'm sorry father, for what I've sinned....
Is this a God's way of punishing me??
I take that as yes.....I've been a bad girl after all.....
I hurt too many people....including my love one...
Sorry for everything.....maybe I care about you in the rough way.....
but I just can't help it.....you're mine...only mine.......
but now you're no longer mine.....
Sorry, that's the only thing I can say to you now....
And sorry for hurting your mum's feeling too by turning you into a very bad child.....
I admit it's my fault....you're a good child...a child that everyone would wished to have.....
It's my fault that now you're far from your mother.....
I hope by this, your relationship with her will be much better.....
I'm sorry for everything.....
I guess her wishes has been granted......
yeah, a mother's wish will always be.... :')
It's okay now......I won't hurt her anymore.....

And you too....I won't hurt you no more...
Sorry that I can't be the perfect girlfriend you always wanted......
I think the girl I used to be, the one you fell in love with was already dead in me.....
I'm sorry that I don't want you to be happy with other people....
I'm sorry that I hate to see other make you smile.....
I'm sorry for all the bad things I have done to you......
Looks like things will never be the same as before since I turned to this Cold-Hearted-Little-Bitch....
I just want to say I'm sorry and I hope you can live happily ever after...that's my wish for now.... :')
yeah, my advance wish for my upcoming birthday which is 1week ahead.... :')


Here's a few things I want to admit/confess to you before I let it all go... :
~ You're the only person alive that could ever understand me
~ You're the only person I could talk to all about everything
~ You're the only person I thought I will be forever with
~ You're the only person who I can be totally me with
~ You're the only person who're the best I ever had
~ You're the only person I ever love entirely
~ You're the only person I'm afraid to lose
~ You're the only person I care about
~ You are my everything
~ I want to marry you

Yeah, you're that above to me....
Actually there are 1001 reason to love you....
there are 1001 what you are to me......
It's limitless I could never describe who you are to me......
But the time is ticking...and the night would turn to light...
and It Ends Tonight.....
The song It Ends Tonight by The All-American Rejects....
that the song which suit my mood at this very moment...
Yeah, I know how much you hated it whenever I hear a song by any male singer... :')
But it doesn't matter now......you wouldn't even care.....
I done too many mistake to you.....
I know you could never forgive me anymore.....
This could be..This could be the last time...
So, this is it.....
It's the end of everything.....
As long as I can remember, September always turned such a pain-in-the-@$$ towards me even though it was my birth month......just like last year... :')
I will never enjoy September ever again....yeah, My Birthday going to be Sucks!!
But it was never your fault...It was me...okay?? 
Don't ever blame yourself for this stupid things to happen.... :')

Okay, Dear....
Bye2 now...
I guess that's going to be the very last time for me to call you by that pet name... :')
You must be sleeping already.....Sweet Dream.....
So long and good night....Goodbye my sweet valentine... :')
You always be such a sweetheart to me but I just never get enough......
Sorry...SOrry...SORRY.....that's all I can say.....
I hope tomorrow will be a brand new day for you......
A happier days to come.... :')
Bye2, my Panda..my forever love...my everything.....


The stupidest thing I ever done in my entire life is
to ever changed myself...
 She died in my egos..
I'm sorry that I killed her...
I somehow can't find her in myself anymore.
 I'm sorry that I've turned into this..
A cold-hearted-monster!
I f*cking hate myself now
for hurting you too much!
I'm afraid that I'll hurt you more than I already did..
so maybe it's best you leave me alone...


P/s: 
I love you, Before..Today..Forever..and..For Always...
I will never stop loving you even in the strangest, cruelest and weirdest way....

I will never forget you.

xoxo,
Aechi



If you ever read this post..
This song playing in this blog right now is the actual same song I listened at..
the moment my finger started dancing on the keyboard..
the moment my tears started to drop..
the moment I look for the photo of me in school uniform which you took few years ago..
the moment I said to myself how much I missed to be that girl again
and how stupid of me to ever change myself..
the moment I click the "publish post" button..
the moment this post was posted..
the moment I think my heart had stop beating..
the moment I think I've suddenly stopped breathing...
It was the actual same song I was listened to at that very moment.
..because..
This song's about you...

4 comments:

  1. reading this..i'm speechless.
    i really want to say smthing..but, since this is an emotional post, i think better i go silent..
    =)))
    be happy babe..^^

    ReplyDelete

  2. thanks... :D
    go on..u can say what u want to... :))
    coz i am happy now...
    we're still together~!! ahha.. :D
    i'm just so stupid in this matter~ :((
    but i'm quite happy that we're still together... :)

    thanks for the visit & comment too.. :D

    ReplyDelete
  3. still together? lol! that's good! congrats..^^
    wat i wanna say is dat, if u still love him, fight for that love n back together again..but i guess u dont need my thought nymore..haha
    ^^

    ReplyDelete

  4. ahaha...thanks!! :D
    Yep, fight for it!! ahha...
    thank u so much... :))

    ReplyDelete

eNUFF!! now, NANG me!! :D

CLICK!